You know you’ve seen it. Like rock stars, actors, or sports stars, chillin’ in the VIP section of that exclusive club, getting comp’d bottles of the priciest vodka and champagne. They are roped off from us mere mortals and surrounded by an entourage of beautiful people. You know they exist. And you struggle with whether you want what they have.

In this case, I’m talking about social media divas! And the term applies to males and females alike…

First, A Caveat

I have toyed with writing this article a number of times. And although I do sometimes like to stir the pot a little, the thing that stopped me was always the fear that I may have made some of these mistakes myself.

Even when you strive to have the best manners, you are bound to offend someone at some point. So if you are someone who I have social-media-slighted in the past, please know it was in no way intentional. And with that blanket caveat, let’s proceed with a heavy dose of sarcasm and hopefully a sense of humor.

Social Media Equity

I am really so very grateful for every tweet, like, comment, digg, stumble and visit. In 10 Tips For Twitter Success I talk about thanking everyone for their re-tweets or comments in multiple ways although not everyone agrees on how. For me it just feels like the right thing to do but is also an opportunity to create some social media equity. I scratch your back and you scratch mine. Isn’t that what community is all about?

The Emergence of the Social Media Diva

But since I joined twitter I can’t help but notice that there are some folks out there who demonstrate some very social media diva-like behavior.

Social media is about authenticity and trust, the equity and maybe even the love we engender in the connections we have with others. Now I realize that manners are not as clear in the new social world order. And let’s face it: there are some real superstars out there who do not have the time to thank everyone or re-tweet and respond to every comment.

But for everyone else, here is a fun list of the warning signs that you may be sliding down the slippery slope to social media diva-hood.   Read and enjoy –

7 Signs You’re a Social Media Diva:

  1. You don’t respond to @mentions or you complain in your tweets that too many people are fishing for your attention….oh to be so popular.
  2. You don’t respond to comments on your blog because you are “too busy”.  Come on- it takes a lot of effort to write a comment – a simple thank you would suffice.
  3. You don’t thank blog writers for mentioning you, highlighting your work and linking to you in their posts.  If someone calls you out specifically in their post they must think quite highly of you – retweeting the post with a thank you is easy enough.
  4. You don’t comment on anyone else’s blog.  Come on – it’s not all about you.  Return the favor.
  5. You think you’re really awesome and all your tweets promote you, your blog, or even worse your Klout score.  It’s like bragging about having a high IQ. This one is a no-brainer.
  6. Your twitter conversations are only among your social a-list friends. The virtual version of the VIP purple rope.
  7. You’re a little bitter that Twitter has become “mainstream”.

Now let’s have a little fun: tell me what you think? Share a story in the comments section of a time when you’ve been brushed off or slighted. Add additional warning signs I may have missed. If you add your Twitter handle, I promise to reply to every comment as soon as I possibly can and to thank every one of you in a Tweet.

———-

Follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook or Subscribe to the B2B Marketing InsiderBlog.

About Michael Brenner

Michael Brenner is the Vice President of Global Marketing for SAP where he leads content strategy and serves as the managing editor of the company’s award-winning Business Innovation thought leadership blog site. He is also the author of B2B Marketing Insider, a contributor to Forbes and a frequent speaker at industry events covering topics such as marketing strategy, social business, content marketing, digital marketing, social media and personal branding.  Follow Michael on Twitter (@BrennerMichael)LinkedInFacebook and Google+ and Subscribe to B2B Marketing Insider by Email

32 Comments

  1. Paige Holden said…

    All the things I would say if I had a blog!

    One of my biggest pet peeves are the self-proclaimed social media gurus who used to be friendly, but are now too big to acknowledge old friends. It’s seems strange to me that the same people who taught me to retweet, say thanks, engage with fans/followers, etc. no longer hold themselves to the same standard. Sigh.

    I love #6 BTW.

    Cheers,
    Paige

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Thanks Paige, If you don’t have a blog and ever feel the need to vent, you can always guest post here! I think it’s just such a shame to forget that we are all here (on social channels) to help each other out. And we grow by helping. #6 is a good one and something I am seeing more and more of. Cheers to you for the 1st comment! :-)

      Thanks so much! Michael

  2. Jennifer Riley Simone said…

    Great post, Michael. I believe whole-heartedly in the personal DM when someone follows me. It takes a few extra seconds to take a quick look at who has reached out to you, but I find that the effort is well appreciated and makes for a better Tweet relationship. Now, I realize that I am a newbie at this medium, and maybe if I ever get to thousands of followers I will have to change things, but I hope not. I enjoy reaching our and hearing from my fellow tweeps.

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Thanks Jennifer! I think everyone has their own touch and approach and we should use what works. Whatever it is, at least for me, I plan to never stop adding the personal element!

  3. Shannon said…

    Michael, This is a fantastic post! Too many people forget that social media is about engagement and it’s a 2-way conversation. It gets extremely old when people always say “look at me! look at me!” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that’s not engagement. I agree with Paige that #6 is perfect.

    Great job!

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Shannon, I really appreciate the support and the comment! And you are so right: it’s ALL about the engagement. That’s the only reason I got involved. #6 can really get you going especially when you make an attempt and reach out in a sincere way and get snubbed. In the end, I’ll take the quality over quantity anyway!

  4. Rachel Macik said…

    Honestly, I don’t like reading claims of being an expert or guru of “anything”. I like it when people are more open to learning and ingesting information from those above, below and beyond themselves. I’d write a longer comment here, but I just don’t have the time. ;)

  5. Beth Harte said…

    I wonder if I should just stop blogging because I fail at points 2, 3, 4 all of the time!!

    Does that make me a diva? Or do I need to meet all 7 signs? :)

    Social media is a time suck. Some choose to be sucked in and others don’t. I don’t allow it to suck me in…if that means I keep failing at 2, 3, and 4 — so be it.

    Cheers,
    Beth Harte
    @bethharte

    • Michael Brenner said…

      @Liz: thanks for the support

      @Beth: Well I know you respond to comments on your blog, you commented here on mine and liked it on facebook and you’ve “lowered” your self to interact with me on Twitter so clearly you broke through your social diva-ness to share some social media love. I think you’ll be fine! ;-) So keep on blogging and sharing.

  6. SusanPAus said…

    Have to agree with much of this Michael. I too have found certain people and their blogs – one person seems to blog each time they get upset with someone else in social media – highly egocentric and some people deal with Klout like it’s the high school playground and only the popular kids are worth dealing with. Recent international crises – Qld Floods, Yasi, China, New Zealand, the Arab World and now Japan et al require a whole lot more and such issues make superficial preening and precocious behaviours major negative stand-outs. Further, when people either can’t respond to these issues genuinely, or, are repeating trite sympathy phrases (at best), they start to be seen as lacking substance. And, if what they say is trite and thin, then they probably won’t offer much to anyone’s social media campaign either.

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Susan,

      Thanks for your comment. I tried to have fun with this topic instead of just “calling people out” but you’re right this is serious. I also know of a blogger that seems to call out marketing miscues every time they see them and no one is safe. In general and usually I try to be much more positive and constructive.

      But in light of the recent events, I think it’s even more important for us to recognize the importance of the connections we have and the “social equity” we build with each touch point.

      So thanks for sharing your thoughts with us here. I really do appreciate it!

  7. Nikki Frazer-Reid said…

    Great article Michael, and so true!

    Although I’ve not yet experienced social media diva behaviour to quite this extent, something that has surprised me when using Twitter (I have managed a number of profiles on behalf of companies) is its ‘clique-iness’ – where it seems like you have to be part of the ‘in crowd’ to get a retweet, a mention or a direct message. Perhaps these ‘cliques’ are simply groups of social media divas who spend their time rubbing each others social egos?

    Now I understand that there will always be some Twitter users that are known for providing particularly good and interesting content and therefore get more interaction, but it does take me back to school – feeling the need to be accepted by the ‘cool kids’ in order to get some attention!

    Thanks,
    Nikki
    @Nikkifreid

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Nikki,

      First let me say thank you for the ReTweet as well as the comment! I have to say, I’m not experiencing social media diva behavior in boat loads but you’re right, it happens in cliques. This became evident to me when I mentioned a well known social media “rock star” in an early blog post. He commented, re-tweeted, and thanked me for the inclusion. This guy had tens of thousands of followers and took the time to thank me for 1 link and reference in a no-name blog! Over the course of the blogging journey, you tend to cite plenty of other thought-leaders and I slowly became aware of the cliques you talk about. And hey, I get it, people are busy as Beth said and Social takes a lot of time. But in the end, for me, it is just about simple manners and deciding to take the opportunity to share some love with someone.

  8. Vasuki J Narayan said…

    A year or so ago, after a bit of a break from Twitter, I replied to someone I was following who didn’t follow me – and I got a “who the heck are you?” message – thankfully, a direct message, and not an open reply.

    But seriously – some of it is time, some of it is focus, and some the fact that not everyone is sure of the ettiquette, because it is all still fairly new. Your comment on thanking people for a RT got me thinking – I never check to see who has retweeted me – need to do that, clearly. My thinking was that it was like an anecdote or a piece of information – if they find it interesting, they retell it, but it wasn’t really “mine” to begin with. Unless it is a retweet of content that I produced, like this blog post.

    Thanks, Michael, for posting something that makes me think. I’ll have to follow your blog as well, now :-)

    Vasuki

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Thanks Vasuki.

      Thanking for re-tweets is probably the most debated of the statements I made. Many folks believe that this clutters the twitter stream. I respectfully disagree but most of those same folks say they thank people in other ways (following, commenting on their blog, etc).

      There is a lot of good content out there on social etiquette, some of which I covered in some other posts, namely the “top 10 twitter tips” post. My main point is just that if you are walking down the street and someone says “good morning” you can either ignore them or reply. I think we should chose to take the opportunity to share a “moment” and reply. The analogy I hope applies well to social media.

      I really appreciate your comment and welcome your thoughts on my content!

  9. David Rosen said…

    I’ll admit I’m a bit guilty of #7. There’s a thrill you get in helping to introduce a new idea to the world. And when everyone’s on Twitter, some of that revolutionary zeal slips away. But that feeling, which is more hypocritical than “diva” like (c’mon, the whole time you’re saying everyone should get on board) has been nicely replaced with building deeper, ongoing relationships with people 140 at a time. Or at least that’s what we can tell ourselves as we wait for a breakthrough as big and disruptive as Twitter to come along again. ;)

    • Michael Brenner said…

      David,

      I totally get what you’re saying. I remember when email response rates didn’t have a “point zero” in front of them too! Ha. I mean this engagement stuff is hard. We have to have the connections and the good content and be able to sell the sizzle and the steak. I guess this post was just a slightly sarcastic way of saying “let’s not forget our manners!”

      Thanks for the comment and the RT!

  10. Nancy Davis said…

    My view is that I always thank for any RT’s I manage to get. I have a few friends I interact with on Twitter, but many of the comments directed at me are spammers.

    I comment on blogs and retweet good content. I am always hesitant to DM people for following me, I guess it just seems uncomfortable to me. I do thank someone for following me if I know them from another group and they follow me on Twitter.

  11. Deanna said…

    Very useful – Twitter etiquette stymies so many, including myself. I was perplexed by all of the DM’s I was getting when I first started following people – was I supposed to do this? Only later I learned that those are not, in fact, good etiquette.
    I am trying to do more listening these days on Twitter. Yesterday someone had asked a question to which I replied. She answered me with, “Like, duh!” I was offended, so had the ultimate revenge by unfollowing her…
    As in life, use common courtesy and common sense.

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Deanna. You’re right, a lot of it is just common sense. Saying “like, duh!” is easy to do on twitter and clearly not very nice but I bet that person would never do that to someone in person. I think the online world allows people to let go of social convention. Sometimes for good and sometimes, well, not so much.

      Thanks for the comment and the RT on twitter. I do appreciate it!

  12. Hey there Michael!
    It really ticks me off when people add me & then don’t interact with me ! When people add me on twitter I will @theirname and ask a question like if you were a smartphone what wuld ur “super app” be? Cant stand it when folks ignore me! I mean like why follow if you’re not going to talk to me, like what are you a stalker? Now those want to be VIP are just as bad as the stalkers. I mean twitter is a social application, if you are anti-social or an elitist get outta of the twitterverse! Well I like this post thanks for saying some of the things I wanted to say ;-)
    my twitter handle is @SocialMMMDiva

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Karen. I’m glad you liked the post. Interaction and engagement are the most rewarding parts of social media for me as well. Thanks so much for the comment and support!

  13. Rachel Hutman said…

    @RachelHutman
    This is too funny! I am going to tweet about it asap! So true. It always seems to be the same big name people, the Mark Ragan’s for example, that act like this. It makes me not want to tweet what they write, no matter how good it is. All I want is a ‘thank you’ and it doesn’t take very long.

    • Michael Brenner said…

      @Gavin: I know! I really appreciate that Craig saved announcing that little nugget here on a guest post for my blog.

      @Rachel: thank you for the support. There was clearly plenty of inspiration for this post ;-)

  14. Denise Williams said…

    Hi Michael — good call. I find these two things are true: 1) some people are still new to social and while understand the concept and how to push content…they don’t get the technology to reciprocate. Seriously. 2) They are just who they really are in the physical sense — it just comes out through social channels. It’s still all about them.
    ;-)

  15. Michael Brenner said…

    Hi Denise, it is not the people who may be new that bother me. It’s the people who (everyone knows) know better. But hey this was just a fun little post to vent some steam and have fun in the process. I’m sooo over it now. LOL!

  16. I remember us once tweeting about whether o not it’s “proper” to say thanks when someone favs one of your tweets. My response was: “I believe that good manners are never out of place!”

    Still think so. Yet, I also believe that there are better ways to say thanks than just reply with thanks. You mentioned some of them – return the love! :)

    I also believe that doing #ffs and stating “thanks for RT” has an odd feeling to it. Again, be more creative I’d say… ;)

    And remember… it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. Some people I don’t hear from for months and then they just re-appear on stage and safe the day and all is as it ever was…

    Keep it up!

    • Michael Brenner said…

      I agree with you that there are more creative ways but to cover your bases I think it’s ok to minimally send the good ole thank you out there. It doesn’t hurt and I don’t buy the argument that it clutters the twitter stream. There is plenty of bad content cluttering the twitter stream that isn’t good manners. I do think it’s important to also try and find other ways to say thank you as well.

      Thanks for the comment!

  17. Jacob Yount said…

    This was a fun one. Definitely have seen “the Divas”. Some I’ll follow because they have good content and can learn from them. Most social-media gurus, aren’t very sociable and are indeed “cliquish”. A Diva will also put you on their radar if one of their diva friends mentions you… Twitter can be a lot like real time networking, use wisdom, don’t be annoying and you’ll get along fine.

    • Michael Brenner said…

      Hi Jacob! It was fun to write and had been building almost from the day I joined Twitter. And you make a couple of great points. Some of the divas I continue to follow of course and good manners go a long way. Thanks for adding your wisdom!

  18. bnbutterscotch said…

    Thanks for the article. It was a fun read.:D

Leave a Comment