B2B Marketing Insider
Do not read this blog post. Really!
In fact, don’t read any blog posts. Blogs are a waste of time. People who write blogs have too much time on their hands, have nothing unique to say and probably do not have a job.
You will not learn anything from this blog or anyone else’s blog.
So if you read this far, you are wasting your time. Other people have nothing to teach you.
If you have read this far, you clearly must not have a job. Because only people who have NO JOB waste their time on blogs.
Facebook? Also for people who have no jobs.
Twitter? Um, I do not even know what that is! And I think Google + is just plain Google but a little faster, right?
Facebook is where people post pictures of their kids or their pets or maybe their vacations. Serious people with jobs who make real business decisions do not have kids or pets or take vacations.
Business people in general, your peers and especially your co-workers are not social. They do not want to know that you have a life of any kind outside of the office.
And personal connections in real life or on social networks do not engender trust or make it more likely that you will buy something from another company, simply because you “like” them or follow them or read their blogs.
My friend Tim Washer (@TimWasher) presented earlier this year that “73% of all people who read blogs are people. Those are the data!”
And Don Draper is not attending the MarketingProfs B2B Marketing Forum in Boston in October where I’ll be presenting on how businesses can actually help people with content marketing. Help people?! I know. Don ain’t buying it.
He knows that change is a myth. He has proven that your buyers just want to be told what to do.
And he knows these discussions about ridiculous innovations in social media, mobile marketing, content marketing, and search engine marketing are simply a waste of time.
So stop looking at Facebook and Twitter. Forget mobile marketing. Keep creating content that only helps you. Don’t go to conferences that talk about change. And whatever you do, please don’t read this blog or any other blog articles.
And please do not follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook and do not Subscribe Blog.
Michael Brenner is the Vice President of Global Marketing for SAP where he leads content strategy and serves as the managing editor of the company’s award-winning Business Innovation thought leadership blog site. He is also the author of B2B Marketing Insider, a contributor to Forbes and a frequent speaker at industry events covering topics such as marketing strategy, social business, content marketing, digital marketing, social media and personal branding. Follow Michael on Twitter (@BrennerMichael), LinkedIn, Facebook and Google+ and Subscribe to B2B Marketing Insider by Email
I couldn’t help myself. I read the whole thing. From what I learned, I know better than to waste my time or yours making a comment. But once again, I can’t help myself.
Whatever you do, don’t reply. Comments on blogs are a waste of time too. And so are replies.
Hopefully you can clear up all this hoopla about content marketing at the Marketing Profs B2B Marketing Forum once and for all. So everyone can get back to work the old-school way. Or not.
This was a completely worthless statement on a worthless blog post. Your comment does not make me grateful nor does it add anything to the points.
Seriously: Love it Billy! Thanks for playing along!
Social media is tool. Blogging is a tool. What’s real is content.
If you focus on creating great content, you’ll be able to leverage these tools in the best possible way.
If every business started seeing the importance and the need for good, compelling content – the World Wide Web would be a better place.
Great point Mustafa.
Great post. No better way to get someone to read than to title the post, “Please Don’t Read This Blog”. If you aren’t adapting to the times in marketing, you’ll be left behind.
Thanks Nick, it means a lot coming from you. I abandoned my normally optimistic and positive tone for a little sarcasm to make a very specific point and no one knows this stuff better than you. I think my optimism stayed at the beach this week.
Good post! But I didn’t read it. Nope, not a bit of it. *ahem*
Thanks Jo. I’m glad you didn’t read it. And not happy you commented. Interacting? Connecting? Hogwash!
I love this post! Superb use of sarcasm to drive a point home. Love it, love it, love it.
Thanks Pam. I really appreciate the support!
And please don’t read this comment unless you want me to write another one which I’ll want you to ignore and a third…and a fourth.
Actually liked the post Michael. Did I waste my time and yours? That’s a question I wouldn’t answer here . But who cares, right?
Happy blogging.
Exactly Philos!
i just saw this. awesome one.
if so one calls your company what would you do? pick up the phone.
if someone e mailed your company what would you do? respond? ( maybe)
if 2000 people are discussing your products and services on linkedin facebook twitter are better still a relevant social media network what would you do?
Crickets and tumbleweed……….
Thank you sir. If a tree falls in the social media woods, it does not make a sound!